I was invited to a dinner in Los Angeles recently by the company Lola, which was started by women and offers organic, locally produced, and gynecologist-approved reproductive care goods, including condoms and tampons Four Taboo sexual topics. This wasn’t your usual Hollywood brand event, though; the meal was in honor of the line’s new Four Taboo sexual Wellness Kit, which includes the Sex by Lola collection (lube, post-play cleansing wipes, and condoms). Surrounded by no more than twenty fascinating women from all different backgrounds and careers (I sat between a model and an entrepreneur and across from a book illustrator), we chatted about our most intimate sexual experiences over family-style arugula salads and couscous at a rustic table in a hidden room above L.A.’s hip Sqirl restaurant four taboo sexual topics. The marketing director and founders of Lola had prepared a few thought starters to get their guests, who were all complete strangers, talking about anything from period sex to lube to how we orgasm (and how we figured that out) to whether or not we’d ever had (or would consider having) a threesome. Although I hadn’t been as open with some of my closest friends, in this cozy loft setting with sharing plates, mentioning the word “clit” felt as awkward as asking someone to “pass the rolls.”
This meal served as a microcosm of Lola’s ultimate objective, which has been to encourage women to feel more at ease when discussing their sexual health and pleasure since the company’s founding in 2015. “Society’s decades-long stigma around reproductive health has disproportionately impacted women and thus the way they talk (or don’t talk) about their sexual health,” says Alex Friedman, co-founder of Lola.
“Companies have historically marketed sex products toward men and their desires in such a way that women don’t always feel they have agency in talking about or advocating for themselves when it comes to their sexual health products, even though products such as condoms are used by two people, not just one.” These same businesses frequently promote goods with unidentified chemicals and additives. According to Friedman, this “has contributed to a lack of understanding about and demand for transparency about what we’re putting in and on our bodies,” along with the taboo surrounding the subject.
None of the three products in the Sex by Lola line use artificial perfumes, GMOs, or parabens. All of the ingredients are listed in plain sight. Cornstarch powder and medical-grade silicone oil that is available locally are used to make the condoms. The wipes contain bamboo and water for natural cleansing and pH balance, while the lube is a hypoallergenic water-based product manufactured with organic aloe leaf juice.
Four Taboo sexual topics Women Talk about
Lola is hoping to introduce transparency to the reproductive health market, specifically about what ingredients are used in our products and how women talk about sex. “Providing women with the information and resources they need to feel confident and make informed decisions about their reproductive health is essential,” Friedman says. “To be honest, all brands ought to aim to attain this quality. We are dedicated to changing the way that the industry and society as a whole view health and well-being.”
Lola chose to gather candid opinions about sex from over a thousand women earlier this year for what it is dubbing the “State of Sex survey,” in part because of its commitment to transparency. The founders of the company stated, “What we discovered was a common worry that their journey had been ‘normal’ in comparison to others.” Women were questioned in the poll regarding a variety of issues, including the number of sexual partners they had, the frequency (and location) of their intercourse, whether or not they had staged an orgasm, which partner provided birth control, and whether or not a healthy relationship could exist without healthy sex.
According to Lola, women are most ashamed to talk about pleasure, orgasms, casual sex, and the “right” number of partners or amount of sex. She hopes that her poll will help to dispel some of these taboo topics. 41% of women believe that the number of sexual partners they have in their lifetime is either too high or too low. “The social stigma is real,” a participant said. “You’re a slut if you’ve had too many partners; you’re a loser if you have no sex and are in a committed relationship.”
72% of respondents who were unmarried and 53% of respondents in relationships said they would like to have sex more regularly. Of those in couples, 56% said they believed their significant other had a stronger sex drive, and many of them felt bad about not wanting to have sex more frequently.
Sixty-six percent of participants admitted to having staged an orgasm in the past, and many of them felt bad about not being able to have one because it made their partner feel inadequate.
These taboos and deficiencies in women’s sexual fulfillment are ultimately the result of our cultural narratives about sex, which emphasize male pleasure and viewpoints together with a lack of space for women to discuss or even directly face their own points of view on the subject. (The way that sex is portrayed in the media and on TV also doesn’t help.)
“I think society today is a man-focused world when it comes to pleasure, and women lack the understanding that we should be just as demanding [and] free-spirited,” a poll participant said to Lola. We OWE ourselves healthy sex.
Browse Lola’s newest Sex by Lola line below, and consider throwing your own dinner party with your pals around the subject of sex talks. Hopefully, our sex lives will gradually get better if women can begin by being as open and honest as possible about sex and pleasure with one another.
